Image: Farren Cloete / Facebook
To many, Farren Cloete is a familiar face on social media. The South African female pastor from Lamberts Bay has built a following of more than 700 000 people, drawn to her warmth, honesty and faith-driven content. But behind the smiles and viral videos is a quieter, more painful journey, one that has nothing to do with likes or views. The Christian woman shared her dream of a motherhood journey with Netwerk24.
For more than two years, Farren and her husband, Bradley, have been trying to fall pregnant. What she once believed would be a natural step into motherhood became a prolonged season of waiting, uncertainty and emotional strain.
When Motherhood Doesn’t Come Easily
“I thought I would fall pregnant immediately,” she says. “And when it didn’t happen, it caught me off guard.”
At first, the process felt manageable. But as months turned into a year, the emotional weight began to settle in. Medical appointments followed, along with medication and carefully planned calendars. Slowly, intimacy was replaced by pressure.
READ: Ds. Farren Cloete: Boelies en babastryd breek my byna, maar só bly ek staan
“It became like a job,” Farren admits. “We didn’t enjoy it anymore.”
Eventually, the toll became too heavy. One morning, the couple decided to delete the fertility apps that had begun to dictate their lives. “We were both getting sick in our heads from it,” she says, describing how the constant reminders chipped away at their hope. This is something a Christian woman struggling to fall pregnant can relate to.
Faith, Pressure and the Emotional Cost of Trying
As a reverend, Farren preaches hope every Sunday. Privately, she had to learn how to extend that same grace to herself. “Every Sunday I preach that everything will be okay, that God has a time set out for us, and I hold onto that,” she says.
Still, faith did not erase the questions. In moments of vulnerability, she wrestled openly with God. “I said: I do so much for You, Lord. I gave my life and my youth. I ask for nothing except the desire of my heart.”
Over time, that struggle softened into surrender. Today, this faith influencer South Africa speaks about faith and infertility with a steadier voice, accepting that trust does not mean the absence of pain.
Online Bullying and the Weight of Public Opinion
While navigating infertility, Farren Cloete has also faced relentless online criticism. As a Christian woman in the public eye, her body, lifestyle and childlessness have all been scrutinised.
“I know many people don’t mean harm when they ask about pregnancy,” she explains. “But they don’t know my history.”
The darkest moment came when a video circulated online labelling her a “Jezebel”. “It broke me,” she says. “I allowed people’s opinions to influence me. But I got up. I pulled myself towards myself, because I have control over my reaction.”
For Farren, online bullying of Christian leaders is an added burden, one she believes comes with unfair expectations placed on pastors, especially women. And a church leader mental health struggles is real for her as for anyone else.
Choosing Kindness in a Harsh Digital World
Despite the criticism and social media bullying Christian woman, Farren chooses love daily. “If I’m good, the others will be too,” she says. “People thrive on negativity, but I know my God. He called me. Not people.”
Her congregation sees a different side of her story, one rarely captured online. Young people fill the pews. Conversations happen over sandwiches, not sermons. “We didn’t grow up afraid of our dominee here,” she says. “The youth flourish.”
Farren Cloete Trusting God’s Timing, Even When It Hurts
Looking ahead, Farren and Bradley have a plan. If pregnancy doesn’t happen naturally by the end of the year, they will begin their IVF journey with faith guiding every step. “I can’t exhaust myself like this anymore,” she says honestly.
And if IVF doesn’t work, adoption is an option she holds with an open heart. “If that doesn’t work either, the children of my congregation are still there.”
This is not a story of defeat. It is a Christian infertility story marked by resilience, faith and quiet courage. A reminder that waiting does not mean being forgotten.
As Farren Cloete puts it, “We are all called for a time such as this.”
